coming to a theatre near you

“Newt Gingrich was Washington’s biggest star, until one man stole his spotlight – and his heart.

“Vanity Fair and Esquire call ‘The Fight For The South’ the best fight of the year. It’s a beautiful and magnificent creation for the media on every level. ‘The Fight For The South’ sends you home with your arse in the clouds and your head in the shitter. Don’t miss the best fight of the year, ‘The Fight For The South’. The fight that all of America is talking about. Winner of the Golden Globe for Best Fight of the Year. Produced by CNN and rated RPG(fire!)”.

YOU WILL COWER at the spitting fury of Newt Gingrich, The Contender, who knows it’s his turn, his time, his triumph; the politician with literally hundreds of grandiose ideas who worked underneath, alongside and probably on top of Reagan; the historian who wrote one trillion books and claims that WWII was won in three years; the rebel who from 1978 fought everyone in Washington DC to claw his way to this moment. WATCH as he teeters at the podium, enveloped in a sticky cloud of anger-wank as he realises his chance, his last chance, may have been cruelly snatched from him by a spurned lover. REJOICE as he stands his ground against the forces of the evil elite news media and lives to fight another day.

YOU WILL MARVEL at Mitt Romney, The Front Runner, a successful business man who has lived on the gilded real streets of America and fights hard, fights cool, to win the prize. SWOON as his Super PAC spunks out millions for his climb to the top. CHEER as he heroically sweeps aside the desperate cries for his tax returns and attacks Obama with threats to “stuff down his throat” the good news of capitalism. ADMIRE as he opens ever wider his shit-eating mouth in the face of a constant barrage of shit-bombs from his deadly opponents.

YOU WILL LAUGH at Ron Paul, The Comedian, as he shrugs and squirms inside his roomy jacket, his fuzzy-felt eyebrows shooting as high as his principles as he refuses to pander to popular opinion and condemns the failure to put Bid Laden on trial before totally rockin’ a Koch MP5 through his head. APPLAUD as he wins the audience over with his Paulonomic battle against the Fed. LAMENT as he is constantly ignored by the evil moderator.

YOU WILL RECOIL as Rick Santorum, The Outsider, a man tortured by his pathetic inability to feel empathy for anyone with a distressed uterus, gets well fierce and lashes out at his rivals in a fuck-u-ageddon of unbridled passion that masks his true feelings for knitted items without sleeves. GASP as he lets rip with the gushing power of a colonic through the echelons of the established Republican base to prove his candidacy is a force to be reckoned with. WEEP as he mentions yet again his seven children in a desperate attempt to get people to admire the power of his ballsack instead of them calling him a total fucking ballsack.

Yeah, it’s a good film. You should totally go and see it.

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About hebe in dc

British Girl in Washington DC @hebeindc
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One Response to coming to a theatre near you

  1. lordvole says:

    IN A WORLD where LIES are the only TRUTH, only the TRUTH can overcome LIES. Hebeindc speaks da truth, bitches! xx

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