Apparently Mittens and Newt have had private discussions from time to time during the campaign for the Republican nomination. I would normally hate to be a fly on the wall – it’s not like I could take notes with my antennae, and the whole rotating genitalia thing is just gross – but I’d do it for half an hour to listen in to those conversations. There’s no word on what they’ve discussed but it’s not likely to be a friendly chat about the current state of American zoos. I hope the haggling over which job Newt gets in a future Mittens cabinet goes on for a while yet, as his determination to ‘go all the way to Tampa‘ makes the campaign much more fun (and has given sweaty, lust-crazed teenagers across the country a new phrase for getting a home run).
It is becoming utterly compelling to watch Rick Santorum. Compared to Mittens he’s running a shoestring campaign, but his passion and rhetoric is proving more valuable and is keeping him in the race (for ‘race’, read ‘media’). The flash of anger he displayed towards a journalist earlier this week gave conservative wingnuts further evidence, as if they needed more, of the alleged bias shown by the ‘liberal media’. If Rick had twatted the guy, stolen his wallet and spent all the money on a shiny new gun, he’d no doubt have been love-bombed by his supporters (I prefer ‘cult followers’) with even more dollar bills and prayers. His new-found passion for sports-you-can-do-with-beer served only to emphasise the difference with his opponent, whose media coverage this week focused on his plans to build a car lift in his new $12 million beach house.
Just what does Mittens have to do to bury Rick and nail this nomination? His endorsements are piling up faster than fat kids at a Krispy Kreme open day, with blue-eyed budget-bunny Paul Ryan today giving Mitt the nod, and Tea Party favourite Senator Marco Rubio fueling the guess-the-Veep stakes with his stamp of approval. Even George Bush Senior has added a bit of aged puff to the white smoke intermittently squeaking from GOP headquarters (see what I did there? Inter-mitt-ently. You’re welcome).
Mittens is feeling the love from liberal and moderate Republicans, but making hard-core conservatives accept him remains his main challenge (that and trying to be less of a clueless dick in public). At some point conservatives are going to have to bite their many bullets and swallow their objections. And we’re still five months away from the showdown at Crazy Central. So it could be a while yet before he can have a bit of a jig with Mrs. Mittens to this ….