Tag Archives: humour

rejection

“Please don’t worry about it, I’ve seen far worse,” explained the dentist. “We treat a lot of people from the World Bank.” I had fretted that my first time with a dentist here in the States would result in him bolting in terror … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

are you having a laugh?

So. A wee bit of sheep offal and some oats and they shit themselves. You can buy a hunting rifle and a pound of crack off some dodgy bloke down the high street, but can you get any haggis here? NO … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

nuts

“Have you seen that squirrel on telly with the huge bollocks? It’s HILARIOUS!” That’s the question I was asked multiple times when I took a brief trip home to the UK last week. Not my opinion of the Bank of … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

stinky finger

You know I said that maybe I should take cooking lessons? Last week I received a painful reminder of why I should never operate heavy machinery, when I sliced my finger open with a bread knife. A woman’s place (well, my place) … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

working my ass off

Imagine you’re an indoor cat. You know there’s a big world outside but you’re comfortable in your cosy little home. You know where everything is. You’ve been there twenty years. It’s easy, reassuring. Now imagine venturing outside for the first time into … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

a sheltered life

I’m definitely a morning person. I’m just not sure I want to get on my knees and give it up for Jesus before I’ve had a fag in the morning. My current job isn’t exactly stretching, so with all this extra … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

when titles go bad

I watched bits of the Emmy Awards yesterday. I haven’t seen many of the television programmes that had been nominated, so I tried to guess what they were about from their titles. Justified Drama about paragraph formatting, probably in the style of James Ellroy. Plot … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 6 Comments